I Have a Wife

For some men to utter the words “I have a wife” it’s a painful reminder that they’ve locked themselves out of every free pussy on the planet with those other words “I do.” To some women being told by their mark that he’s married only makes him more desirable. Often this leads to a married man with a huge boner and a moral conundrum: To do this beautiful stranger, or not to do?

I Have a Wife is a brand new porn site from Naughty America featuring the kind of girls who target, seduce and then fuck married men.

View Gallery | Latin Adultery

Sadly, Olivia O’Lovely is another disgruntled Latina housewife who has turned to cheating in order to satisfy her sexual and personal needs.

What kind of husband could ignore this sexy, voluptuous Latina woman?

A husband who will neglect and disgruntle his Latina wife is so fucking dumb he deserves every bit of spicy fury she dishes back to him. Wives shouldn’t be neglected in the first place. But a Latina one? You’re just playing with fire. Neglect is the reason why I used to fuck so many married women (I’ve since kicked the married woman habit but it’s a constant struggle to stay off the wives.) It was the driving force of women who needed some way to get back at their husbands in some “revenge” fantasy they concocted in their heads. It drove them right into my arms. Usually these cheating wives never told their husbands that they had an affair. The secret of the affair was enough to appease them in some way and the affair itself was a way for them to get back something their husbands had denied them — attention.

My first housewife was a Latina. She hated her neglectful husband so much she made her rounds and fucked almost every guy on the block, including me. Was her intention to get back at him in some personal revenge fantasy? No. She was racking up the numbers so when it came time to break it to her husband that she was fucking around on him, she would have a number of affairs so big to throw in his face he would lose it.

It was extra-marital shock and awe. He went ape-shit crazy.

Amazingly, that marriage was saved. After he found out I was one of the guys who screwed his wife he (naturally) came at me with a baseball bat. A few times. I avoided him long enough and eventually he gave up. His wife, so impressed that her husband would try to beat the shit out of every guy on the block over her infidelity, decided that their marriage should be saved. She loved him again.

Shortly after that they started a family.

My point is: if you have a wife, Latina or other, treat her right. Especially if she’s Latina. They can be vindictive to say the least.

View Gallery | Please Bang My Wife

What a sweet little wife Lisa Ann is.

I’ve always wondered this: If you take your consenting wife to a strange guy to be fucked, he’s fucking her and she likes it a little too much, do you stop it? Or do you just put your head in your hands and cry while she gets the screw of a lifetime?

This reminds me of a story.

One time this squirrelly-looking guy with a caterpillar mustache came up to me at a bar, tapped me on the shoulder and asked how I was doing. Then he had the bartender serve me a beer.

At first I thought he was gay. He seemed awfully friendly and was buying me drinks. But I was thirsty and broke so I didn’t refuse them. We start talking small talk. Then he nervously asks “You know what buddy, see that pretty lookin’ thang over there at that table?” He pointed at a table with a nice looking woman in her late thirties, long brunette hair, blue eyes.

“That’s my wife. How would you like to have a go at her? I’ll just watch.”

I slammed down the beer and said “let’s do it.”

Back at their place I’m fucking the shit out of her in the bedroom. She is loving it. She is loving it too much. The husband is sitting back in his little chair sweating bullets. At one point he dropped his head in his hands. Then finally he jumped out of his chair.

“Honey, we can’t do this anymore. I…I…OK, buddy, get off my wife please!”

His wife told me to keep going and she told her husband to “fuck off, honey.” So I just kept going.

Then the guy starts walking around the bed. He tries wedging his hands between me and his wife like he’s trying to push us apart. So I pushed his hands away with one of mine and I started pushing even harder and faster into his wife. He didn’t know what to do.

Finally the guy got desperate and started whacking me in the back of the head with his wife’s 10-inch black dildo. At that point I was pretty much finished so I pulled out and blew my load on her stomach.

The guy couldn’t even look me in the eye. His wife was glowing.

I probably saved their marriage.

View Gallery

Four new galleries have been added to The Sexy Housewife (two for Milfs Like it Big and two for Mommy Got Boobs.)

» Milfs Like it Big
– Gallery One: Priya Rai, Gallery Two: Puma Swede

» Mommy Got Boobs
– Gallery One: Alexis Silver, Gallery Two: Veronica Rayne

I grew up in a small community that was relatively quiet, nice and peaceful. Its homes were filled with nuclear families and senior citizens. Nothing really exciting ever happened there and that didn’t really bother us. Everyone liked it that way.

But a few years ago one Wednesday afternoon something controversial happened: The mail was a hour late.

In most communities this isn’t a big deal. But in our community with it’s dense senior citizen population desperately waiting for pension cheques and catalogs to arrive the late mail became a big talking point among the community’s older residents. As far as any of us under 60 were concerned it was hardly scandalous. But it was aggravating to the senior citizens, who could drop dead at any minute, so it was critical that they got their mail as early as possible. Even an hour early. Who wants to die and leave an amazing two-for-one coupon sitting in their mail box?

The next week Wednesday came and once again the mail was an hour late. Again, it became a talking point. The Wednesday after that it was late again. By this time the local post office received a barrage of complaints from senior citizens demanding answers. A few days later we had a new mail man and the old one was presumably let go.

I didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t care less. If my porn magazines and credit card bills arrived an hour late on Wednesdays it hardly mattered.

Mail started arriving on time with the new mail man and everything went back to normal. Time passed and I had completely forgotten about the senior citizen’s revolt over late mail.

A few weeks ago I ran into an old friend. We both used to live on the same street in the old town. Over a drink of beer we started talking and he asked me “Remember when all the old people revolted against the post office? Do you know why?”

“Yeah, the mail was late.”

“No, no, the mail man. Do you know why he was late?”

I didn’t know, I never really thought about it.

“Remember the Shirer’s down the street next to the convenience store? Mrs. Shirer, she was really hot. Neither of them worked because they were rich as fuck off his inheritance? The mail man was stopping at their house to fuck her while Mr. Shirer watched and whacked off!”

I told my friend “That’s crazy.”

So he went into more detail.

“No, it was Mr. Shirer’s thing. All three of them would go into the bedroom. Mrs. Shirer would be all dolled up, probably in that sexy dress she used to wear on Sundays and the mail man would have a go at her with his uniform on. The uniform was the big thing. Mr. Shirer’s wife would lay on the bed, spread her legs and the mail man would give it to her!”

His attention to detail was suspect but I suppose he could have been embellishing the details a bit.

At first I didn’t believe it. The Shirers were very quiet people and it seemed highly unlikely they would be that adventurous in their private lives. Now, there’s nothing wrong with letting the mail man bang your wife if she enjoys it and it’s your thing. But the Shirers? I couldn’t believe it.

The other day I was talking to my sister Rebecca on the phone and I brought up the mail man and the Shirers.

“I was told the mail man used to bang Mrs. Shirer while Mr. Shirer watched and masturbated.”

“Oh yeah, it’s supposedly true. She even married the mail man after Mr. Shirer passed away,” she informed me.

That was the most amazing thing I had ever heard. Not only was the mail man making an extra delivery to the Shirers, he shacked up with Mrs. Shirer after her husband died and they’re still together to this day.

I wonder if he kept the uniform?

I work for a marketing firm and my job is to find creative ways to market underwear and socks to the general populace. The job is fine, I enjoy my work but my co-workers are batshit retarded. They add a thick layer of bullshit to an otherwise easy work week.

Let me illustrate. Two weeks ago Sabrina, the perky head of HR, had a guy fired for “sexual harassment.” He made a comment to a co-worker about Sabrina being a “slut” and somehow it made its way back to her. Now the sweet irony of it all is that Sabrina IS the company slut. The guys upstairs skewer her on a regular basis and because of that her job security is airtight, despite policies against it (inter-office relationships, not gang banging the PR girl, specifically.) Hypocrisy is rampant at our workplace. Unfortunately that’s a consistent theme in most workplaces across North America.

My boss, Frank, is a good guy. Naive, a little bit stupid, but a good guy. A real family man. He keeps a portrait of his family sitting on his desk. A picture of his wife, Claudia, their five spawn and the family dog all sitting on a blanket underneath a big willow tree. It stands at the edge of his desk and greets every guest entering his office. He proudly shows it off to everybody.

Claudia is a fine piece of ass. But she’s a real bitch. She’s in her mid-forties and is probably ten years his junior. Her hair is black and long, her figure slim and she always looks uptight, like she has a stapler stuck up her ass. Once in a while I see her charging around the office and yelling at interns. No one can disagree with her. Frank will always side with her, right or wrong, because she runs him at home and at work.

Everyone is really careful now when it comes to gossip. No one wants to lose their job over something stupid like saying “Erica in Printing is blowing the janitor on her lunch breaks”, even though it’s true at least two days out of the week.

Now I hear talk that Claudia is coming back to the office in a few weeks to provide “consultation services.” That’s how the boss gets her on the payroll from time to time. This is crazy. One office drama just ended. Now I see another one on the horizon.

Fuck.

A few weeks ago I was poking around Raven Riley’s web site and noticed she had her own Raven Riley Fleshlight, modeled after her own pussy. So last week I checked out the Fleshlight web site to see if they offered anymore girl-themed Fleshlights. And what did I find?

PUMA SWEDE’S PUSSY MOLDED INTO A FLESHLIGHT!

I’ve had a porn crush on Puma Swede for a while now. She has fast become one of my favorite milfs, right up there with Vicky Vette. I don’t know if it’s the platinum blonde hair, the gigantic tits or the Swedish accent. Whatever it is I can’t get enough of Mrs. Swede.

Check out these handy Fleshlight Tips.

Lately I’ve been seeing some great improvements inside Naughty America’s members area. They’ve completely revamped its presentation and have been tweaking it’s functionality over the past few weeks.

I got a Naughty America membership in summer 2005 and up until recently the members area’s look and feel hadn’t changed much aside from the addition of new sites and frequent new content updates. While it was sufficient there was some room for improvement.

Improved it has been. Among my favorite new additions is the ability to pull up a specific performer’s scene updates on one single page. This feature certainly isn’t exclusive to Naughty America’s members area but it’s nice to see them implement it (I’m pretty sure they didn’t have it before.) Right before I started writing this post I downloaded all the Brooke Banner episodes I missed over the years. I was completely unaware I missed any until I saw her page and noticed a few scenes I hadn’t seen before (and my memory is impeccable when it comes to tits and ass — I have a pornographic memory.)

They’ve also implemented “tags”, much like the tags we use at this blog, to better organize their content (ie. “big tits”, “threesome”, “milf”, “stockings”, etc.)

For anyone who liked the old members area you can still use it by clicking the “classic members area” link on top of the new layout but I doubt anyone will go back to the old one after clicking around the revamped members area.

Thankfully one thing hasn’t changed: they still deliver some of the best adult entertainment on the web.

–
Naughty America is home to many of our favorite milf and housewife sites including Housewife 1on1, My Friend’s Hot Mom, Seduced by a Cougar and more.

The people who live in the apartment below me are newlyweds. They moved in a few weeks ago right after getting married. The husband, Mike, drives a truck for some auto-parts outfit. Often he’s gone for days at a time hauling around overpriced nuts and bolts between provinces.

Mike is a dickhead. His truck is always parked in my parking space, he listens to loud country music and his friends are always getting drunk and pissing in my flower pots. Yesterday they left a bunch of beer cans sitting on the hood of my car. I can’t stand the guy.

His wife is named Tracy. She’s the sweetest little brunette housewife I’ve ever seen. She’s short, slim, has a great set of tits and is always smiling. Every so often she waves and says “hello, neighbor!”

Last week they had a terrible fight. All I could hear was screaming, hollering and eventually a door slam and Mike’s truck spin out of the driveway. It seems there is some trouble in paradise.

Yesterday I took a day away from the office and completed some of my work from home. Around noon I went outside to fetch the mail from the end of our shared driveway. Mike’s truck wasn’t parked in my parking spot. He was gone, probably at work. I grabbed the mail and just as I was closing the mailbox I saw Tracy coming up the driveway toward me.

“Hello, neighbor!”

I waved back and said “hi.”

The sight was amazing. She was wearing this tight tank-top shirt with white and pink horizontal stripes running across. Her tits, round and firm, bent those stripes so that they looked like a stack of big rounded “W’s” running up her chest. She had some of the best tit cleavage I’ve ever seen.

This wasn’t good.

I’ll be honest, I’m a reformed wife fucker. Housewives are my heroin, my crack cocaine. I used to have sex with married women all the time. It’s a part of my past and I’m not proud of it. For whatever reason married women just throw themselves at me. Wives of bankers, lawyers, judges, gas station attendants, lesbian wives of lesbians, it doesn’t matter. They hit on me constantly and I used to give into them every time. So you can probably understand why I don’t want to run into this woman, especially so soon after she and her husband had a huge fight.

We started talking. She tells me about her family, where she grew up, the school she attended, her favorite dog and cat and numerous other things I couldn’t care less about. Every few minutes I would fake cough, nod down my head, take a quick look at her tit cleavage, nod back up and hope she didn’t notice. But most of the time I just said “oh yeah..uh huh” while she rambled on.

Then came the bombshell. She asked me if I wanted to go inside for coffee. Was this woman crazy?! Not only was it a bad idea for me, of all people, to be alone with her, her husband would kill me if he knew I was visiting his wife while he was away working to pay off her wedding ring and buy her her sexy tank tops. So I politely declined, citing a pile of work I had to get finished before tomorrow. Deadlines, you know. She actually looked disappointed. Then we parted and I went back inside. But all I could think about was the lonely housewife downstairs, all alone, probably mad at her husband and no doubt wanting my cock.

So I looked at internet porn for an hour.

I didn’t go out Saturday night because I was home fighting a cold. A nasty one. Most Saturday nights I’m around the bars flashing myself around like bait, hoping to be picked up by a cougar (a very aggressive milf) and dragged back to her place. But this Saturday night I was home, aimlessly clicking around the internet, trying to find movies of babes to wank off to (even though I felt like a sack of shit). Fortunately I found a hi-def milf website called Cougars in Heat. It made staying in worth it. It features many of the milfs I’ve come to love over the years and a few new ones I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing before. So naturally I grabbed a box of tissue paper, turned off my cell phone and locked the front door. There was no way I was going to let anyone interrupt me after finding this site (I made sure of it).

So while I didn’t have a sexy old girl grind my groin with her twat into the wee hours of the morning, I did enjoy watching movies of other guys doing what I wanted to do.

Cougars in Heat features lovely milfs like Elle and more!

Cougars in Heat